Sorting out my Peter Pan outfit. One problem so far is a serious bulge issue, or maybe the problem is a not so serious bulge issue?
My girlfriend sent me a text questioning my sexuality. In my eyes, there is nothing wrong with wanting to go as Peter Pan for Halloween.
I thought i’d do a good deed for my housemates and clean up the hob, looks like it had never been done before. Burnt my hand and now regretting it. Listening to David Bowie and crying about my sore finger.
Sometimes people need to learn when to just shut the fuck up. Customer comes up to till looking down, holding flowers. Sales Assistant: oh dear, what have you done wrong then? Customer: It’s my dad’s funeral.
rippedknees: yesterday i split a glass of coke on my laptop, the insides fizzed and popped and it didn’t turn back on. apparently we can get another one, a better one, for free on our home insurance. i thought that was only if yr house got broken into. i should spill coke on more things. i’m gonna spill coke on my little brother
oh dear lord
arehaus: ryan please tell me that wasn’t my brothers cock!? this is even worse than that picture of him and westie in the bath! sorry, it’s true
Laura filmed me snoring last night and showed me in the morning, because I failed to believe her I actually snore and that if I did it’s not as bad as she makes out it is. It’s bad, I had a bit of apologising to do after seeing the footage. Also, this morning it smelt like someone had put a fart in the fridge, not good times. I’ve started coming up with ideas for my love story...
Time for bra burning
ASMAN says: erect nipple Laura says: errect nipple syndrome ASMAN says: you got it too? Laura says: nah thats what bras are for ASMAN says: really? i didn’t know why girls wore them Laura says: haha no ASMAN says: i thought they were to make boobs look bigger Laura says: haha nah they are to stop them moving around i think i actually don’t know thats bad ASMAN says: you...
My tumblr is just rubbish isn’t it? I never have anything interesting to say on here, the only times I think of stuff interesting I could write on here is just as i’m about to sleep, which means I’m too lazy to get out of bed and actually write it. Maybe I should start adopting this technique, although it might end up in some tired, uninteresting rants and reviews on random...